I'm 23rd and I have some dreams I must done in my life.
(00.05 in the morning)
For once in my life I have to:
Someone asked about our item, the Inverter. Actually it is not ours, it’s just thing that we buy from
It was a really hard question for our project team. The items clearly damage and we don’t know why. Until now. The question is not just about the inverter, more likely about ‘could we trust you again?”, or “could you responsible to the damages”, etc. Hmhh…
Then one of us answers:
We are admitting it. So much problems with the Inverter. We’re also confused. We buy it from American Company, but we don’t know about the quality. From the statistic, compare with the Converter-the real Indonesian hand-made-the damages of the Inverter leading in front. We conclude that the Inverter still also develop the technology but hasn’t finished yet. Some proud ness of our company. The Indonesian technology, our technology is not too bad. Even, it isn’t bad at all.
I’m not telling you that I hate
Here are some photos of Varindo V-Sat Training October 2006.
Have you ever felt lonely before?
I often.
I don't know, it's just, sometimes, I feel like nobody cares about me.
And the bad news is I'm a kind of person that pays attention of this expression.
I realize I have beloved family and friends, Nevertheless I could still feel that such kind of thing.
Hmm… The payment of this loneliness of course, I will be very satisfied when I spend time with my beloving family and friends, but, I don’t know, since my graduation day, that satisfying time smoothly gone. Add with I have a job far from home. It’s just very hazardous.
That sunday night in my another lonely time, I choose to call my mother in
Thanks God. I felt so excited. And I feel like I was ready to cease the week.
God please look after my family.
Correspond with my sister’s wedding; I also attended my friends wedding. I and my friends (HFGM) took the responsibilities for being the wedding singer. Such a great time also. Not just because I met my friends, but also because of the atmosphere around there. During the reception we felt like it was also our party. Not just the party of the couple, or both families, but also like party of all of us. I didn’t really understand how such this thing could happen.
The couple is so clop, a singer and a photographer. Aren’t they so sweet?
Last week I went to Pematang Siantar in Not too many changes there. I still could breathe the fresh air, fishing-catch in the field, and else’s which I could not face in town. I use to live in
I spent little time there. Just 2 effective days while another day was spent for the ride. Even so, I still make it for Siantar Tour with my new bro in law. It is such a small town. Only two main avenues, Merdeka & Sutomo. The very funny one is, a Chinese or Javanese could speak batak’s language better than me. Gosh, how I very ruined by the globalization values.
Wondering when my time will come…
The assignment forces him to work in a small island in the east part of
Since three earthquakes occurred in east
She wants to know if his husband is alright.
Suddenly the quiet office turns to rouse. Some persons who responsible of the safety of the workers started to busy calling my senior. Difficult to reach him, every one of us start to analyze the possibilities for him impacted by the earthquakes.
In noon then he call us and say that he is fine. Great news for us. He calls us with the satellite phone.
A few minutes later his wife calls us again and asks if there’s any news about her spouse. And yes we forget about his wife for a while.
She said: “I just want to hear his voice mam…, please.”
Suddenly all the disturbing calls from her from this morning turn out to be a wonderful calls. Gosh, she really loves his husband.
Me, my self, I do really want to hear they converse each other. It will be a very very romantic conversation. But unfortunately, it’s very hard to reach him.
Hmm… if only we can reach him, we will ever hear the most romantic conversation in my life.
There is a tribe in
That day, a boy named Katahara must follow the rules. He must through the way that his ancestors made. He must join the trial that he doesn’t want to through it anyhow. Who is the one want to be grown up man anyway? I just want to be my self, a little boy, his mind speaks. But, he couldn’t resist his father and mother. They’ve been so good to him. And even if his parents allow him not to do it, they can’t defend against the law of the tribe.
The boy is walking with a guy beside him, now. His eyes observe to the wide dark forest in front of him. The guy with him is tall and sturdy. His brown skin shines brightly beamed by sun light that afternoon. He is rarely staring at the boy. If he must do it, it’s just confirming the boy still behind him.
In to the forest Katahara actually need some words which will make him better and strong. Unfortunately, he doesn’t have any of them right now. The guy walking a meter away in front of him, apparently, doesn’t have any willingness to do it. He just keeps silent along the journey. Trapped in loneliness, the boy let his imagination flees away from his body. He sees his friends play with him and make jokes together. He also sees his pony besides the river and running with him. He remembers when he put some water in his pony mouth beside the river. He will do it with all his heart, because he really loves that foal. Suddenly he is frightened by a creature in front of him. It’s much like a dog except some of its teeth are very pointed. He doesn’t know where it comes from but the new one come follow after the previous. Suddenly, lot of those creatures is staring at him and his pony. He also could not understand when the river place where he stand start to flow blood. And suddenly the brightness around him swallowed by the darkness and the eyes of that creatures become red and they open their mouth half-full and some liquid are flow down from their teeth. The boy is shouting as good as he can and he is being alarmed when two large arms shake his body. It was just an imagination. Deeply scare imagination that even comes up in the middle of the noon. He is so scared with that test, but that time he could not have any rest. Right after he gulps some water offered by the guy he has to continue the journey.
The Dusk starts to shut the sun up. All the paths that fluttering to green, this time, could not make Katahara smiles. This time, he must afraid of it. He is afraid if the time still running. He wants the time stops right now. But it can’t. The trees become bigger and taller and even it’s not evening yet, the darkness already fulfills the space. The animals sound around make the journey scarier.
Without any words the tall guy gives the boy a knife and he just gone away. Katahara want to lift his feet to chase him, but it can’t. He knows he can’t go. He still feels comfortable until the sound produced by the rubbed of the bushes and the tall guy’s feet disappear. Now, he is really alone even though factually he is alone since the first step he leaves the village. He even can’t believe that he’s already there. Hold the knife tightly he tries find some cozy place for him. But later he changes his mind and finds the safer place, more protection.
Time after time passing by and the wind start to flow very cold. Without knowing for how long he’s been there he still sit down on his place very quiet. Suddenly, the knife slips from his hand. It makes some noise. He holds his breath and starts to freeze. After a few times he realizes nothing happen. He tries to reach the knife very slowly. And when it’s remaining for a few centimeters away, some horrible noise appears in the right side. Then far in the left side. All of his body starts shaking and without any sounds tears fall from his eyes. He wants his father here right now help him. But it can’t be real. He just accompanied by darkness right now. He can not handle anyone else but himself. He thinks he is ready now for a jungle fight. Whatever comes to him now, he will anticipate it. He must able to stand. Suddenly birds sound heard in the left side. The birds flee away and so the shock moment. Then after some short times, he grabs his knife and start to guarding him self again.
Seconds after seconds, minutes after minutes, hours after hours passed by and the dawn start to show its face. The boy starts to feel glad. He thinks that his fight is just for a few miles away. Few after, the sun starts to up and the sky become red. Flowers start to blossom and the morning birds call heard everywhere. The dark changed by light and the perfume of winning spread everywhere. I’m a grown up man, I am a man, he thinks. Smile scratches on his face and when he turn left he sees his father extend his bow complete with its arrow to guard him. He is standing just a few meters a way guarding him if ever some animals attack his child.
We usually like that also. We always think we are alone in the darkness. Just believe this, through the night. He will always guard after us.
Life is full with news. Whether it’s good news or bad news.
In the middle of bad news that comes to me these times, I realize something. Since I am a believer, I believe that every thing that happens to me is good news. Even if make me cry and condolence, I still believe it's for my own good. I do believe that God's plan could make me better. I know I don't understand for now, but in front I could see that the Cloud had made me stronger and wiser.
Actually, quite funny this day. Not like any usual day, a bird come into our office room. It flies freely in the room with some pattern movement. It goes to the right, to the left, front and back repeatedly. I feel attractive with its movement. I even have a time to think "Gosh, if only I were a bird, I will fly freely just like that", with my eyes follow the motion.
Then I feel distracted, just a few men from almost ten men in the room get attracted. I’m thinking how could they so busy for their own business until they don’t have a time to respond the bird. They still focus in their business, not even look at the bird.
But then, one by one of all of us get attracted by the bird. First is the man in the right corner. Actually he’s getting attracted since the first time the bird get in to the room. Then the man in the middle of the left part room gets attracted. And then the manager. Then one of us reaches his jacket to catch the bird. Then all of us laugh together with the motion of the bird.
I saw the bird getting tired and it’s trying to perch on the corner of the room, but it can’t. It still flees around us but now in the lower pace. It’s getting tired till one of us opens the windows so it can escape. And finally it flies away through the door.
I don’t know where the bird come from, but it can bring us some fun this afternoon.
“Hanya dari kata orang saja aku mengenal DIA, tapi kali ini mataku sendiri memandang kepadaNya.” Mungkin ayat ini sangat cocok untuk menggambarkan keadaan saya hari-hari ini. Ayat yang disebutkan Ayub ini terlontar ketika dia telah selesai menghadapi ujian dari Tuhan.
Sama dengan saya yang akhir-akhir ini banyak sekali melewati ujian. Memang, ujian saya tidak seberat apa yang dialami Ayub, namun yang pasti hal tersebut sempat membuat saya getir dan kehilangan iman. Lagi
Selama ini saya memiliki konsep yang salah. Konsep yang salah sama sekali. Selama ini saya memaksakan dunia untuk menjadi sempurna. Semua orang harus baik dan sempurna dan kudus dan sebagainya-dan sebagainya. Namun ternyata hal tersebut tidaklah benar. Hanya Tuhanlah yang kudus, yang sempurna, yang luar biasa.
Hal ini terdengar seperti hal yang kecil saja, namun seperti apa yang saya katakan, “kali ini mata saya sendiri memandang dia.” Saat mengalami ini, saat Tuhan Firmankan sendiri, semuanya terlihat begitu indah. Saya dapat langsung melihat kemuliaan Tuhan. Wow… silau man, hati saya silau merasakan kemuliaanNya. Penghalang selama ini yang membuat saya tidak dapat melihat Allah secara langsung, penghalang yang beranggapan kalau dunia harus sempurna, telah diangkat.
Dunia memang tidak sempurna dan tidak akan sempurna, bahkan Alkitab mengatakan dunia akan semakin jahat. Selama ini saya stress mengusahakan semua orang di sekitar saya untuk menjadi sempurna. Namun beban tersebut telah diangkat. Hanya Tuhan yang sempurna, dan hanya Tuhan sendiri yang dapat menjadikan kita sempurna. Kemuliaan bagi Tuhan selama-lamanya.
