'm not tryng to make an art wrtng.
t's actually the real condton rght now.
'm mssng one of my letter n my typer.
The letter s
t feels werd. When t's mssng somethng just feel not complete.
And t's devastatng.
Saturday, June 22, 2013
Four Years of Dark, For Years of Basement
I have a crush on Oleg. That boy who is the president of a class.
"That's maybe the only thing which made me hold on in that dungeon."
Four years, barely see the sunlight. Years of life which passed with sitting, get down and sitting again. Years of life without anything else besides eating, sitting, sleeping and hiding. Yes, hiding is the right word. Hiding from people who think that their race is better than anybody else.
Years of life the matter of life and death.
I was just a little girl, 12 years old. About to fall in love with that Dutch boy, who is appear to be so cute and attractive to me. The story was about writing a love letter, heart to heart conversations with best girlfriends, and simply about how I will be as a grown up woman.
Until that time. Father ask me to leave the house. It was midnight. Father was just telling me that we will visit one of his worker, Syada, who happens to be my feeder in that darkness four years. I could have died now if she's not helping me. I owe my life to her. The whole family owe life to her family.
Me, my sister and Father was traveling that night, 2 a.m. in the morning. We're not even using car. We were walking in foot. Father said, Mom is already in Syada's house. She prepared a wonderful cooks for us. Which happens to be a very big lie. Mom was never in Syada's house. Mom was leaving us, and so was Father.
I was live in that basement. For four years. The only way to stretch my flesh was by laying. I still don't know what really happens. I just there for years. Hiding. Oleg was the only strength I carry on. Or, the only fantasy I could imagine. I was too scared to think about anything else. That's the only precious thing that I had. My mind, my realm! So I chosen Oleg. It was dark four years.
Now I can taste the free air. Fifty years from that time. I just can say grace. That I am still alive. With my family. Live is an art. It has its own way to paint.
At the end, it is a wonderful painting.
"That's maybe the only thing which made me hold on in that dungeon."
Four years, barely see the sunlight. Years of life which passed with sitting, get down and sitting again. Years of life without anything else besides eating, sitting, sleeping and hiding. Yes, hiding is the right word. Hiding from people who think that their race is better than anybody else.
Years of life the matter of life and death.
I was just a little girl, 12 years old. About to fall in love with that Dutch boy, who is appear to be so cute and attractive to me. The story was about writing a love letter, heart to heart conversations with best girlfriends, and simply about how I will be as a grown up woman.
Until that time. Father ask me to leave the house. It was midnight. Father was just telling me that we will visit one of his worker, Syada, who happens to be my feeder in that darkness four years. I could have died now if she's not helping me. I owe my life to her. The whole family owe life to her family.
Me, my sister and Father was traveling that night, 2 a.m. in the morning. We're not even using car. We were walking in foot. Father said, Mom is already in Syada's house. She prepared a wonderful cooks for us. Which happens to be a very big lie. Mom was never in Syada's house. Mom was leaving us, and so was Father.
I was live in that basement. For four years. The only way to stretch my flesh was by laying. I still don't know what really happens. I just there for years. Hiding. Oleg was the only strength I carry on. Or, the only fantasy I could imagine. I was too scared to think about anything else. That's the only precious thing that I had. My mind, my realm! So I chosen Oleg. It was dark four years.
Now I can taste the free air. Fifty years from that time. I just can say grace. That I am still alive. With my family. Live is an art. It has its own way to paint.
At the end, it is a wonderful painting.
A Question of Love
What is Love?
Love is Love. No question about it.
Too abstract to be described, but the delicacy is more real than flesh.
What is Love?
Love is people around us.
Stand there beautifully to color our lives.
What is Love?
Love is life it self.
What is life without love.
What is Love?
Love is you.
Someone out there waiting for me to meet with.
What is Love?
Love is God.
For He is the Source of Love.
Love is Love. No question about it.
Too abstract to be described, but the delicacy is more real than flesh.
What is Love?
Love is people around us.
Stand there beautifully to color our lives.
What is Love?
Love is life it self.
What is life without love.
What is Love?
Love is you.
Someone out there waiting for me to meet with.
What is Love?
Love is God.
For He is the Source of Love.
Friday, April 26, 2013
Statement of Purpose - Statement of Your Life
Probably the most annoying thing to be prepared in quest of graduate study is the statement of purpose (SoP). It's a long writing about the objective continuing study to next level, and will be different to each University applied. In other words, each application should also contain a different SoP.
But guest what, the searching of high quality SoP bring me to realization that reading an SoP is actually reading someone's life. It's simply just a short biography of life, most likely a half of a chapter, which elaborate the purpose of our study and also every stories which connected to it.
Me, my self will see it as a statement of life. It's a story of where God had taken me, and His presence nowadays, and also the future in His hands. Quoting the great Steve Job: "It's about connecting the dots". Whatever happens in our life is actually given for preparing for greater good in the future.
I always get confused, there was a 3 years missing in my life. It is when I focused my self in Choral music. Enjoying myself in the ecstasy current of being a conductor of choirs. I then realized, I waste a lot of times to do something which not support my future goals,
The next thing happens is I'm studying business management. And it's all about management, it's about leadership. Voila! I met this word before. A company is no different than a choir. Every aspects describe essential leadership in each body. Then something comes up in my mind, probably God put me in a music choir to learn a perfect leadership. Conductor, however, is an example of perfect leadership.
Why don't I postulate theories which link leadership theory and music conducting theories.
Why don't I dig it deep the movement of music, as the movement in a company it's self.
Orchestrating, music, leadership, management, conducting, theories, I absolutely can link them.
But guest what, the searching of high quality SoP bring me to realization that reading an SoP is actually reading someone's life. It's simply just a short biography of life, most likely a half of a chapter, which elaborate the purpose of our study and also every stories which connected to it.
Me, my self will see it as a statement of life. It's a story of where God had taken me, and His presence nowadays, and also the future in His hands. Quoting the great Steve Job: "It's about connecting the dots". Whatever happens in our life is actually given for preparing for greater good in the future.
I always get confused, there was a 3 years missing in my life. It is when I focused my self in Choral music. Enjoying myself in the ecstasy current of being a conductor of choirs. I then realized, I waste a lot of times to do something which not support my future goals,
The next thing happens is I'm studying business management. And it's all about management, it's about leadership. Voila! I met this word before. A company is no different than a choir. Every aspects describe essential leadership in each body. Then something comes up in my mind, probably God put me in a music choir to learn a perfect leadership. Conductor, however, is an example of perfect leadership.
Why don't I postulate theories which link leadership theory and music conducting theories.
Why don't I dig it deep the movement of music, as the movement in a company it's self.
Orchestrating, music, leadership, management, conducting, theories, I absolutely can link them.
Sunday, March 31, 2013
Modern Cinderella (Chapter 1)
Who will ever believe, a small town girl like Katrina can finally accepted to be work in such a very big telecommunication company in a big city Jakarta. She's in her year 30 now, and she's desperate about love. But again, that should wait. The risk had been taken by her, she just need to hope her prince will come in a way.
What she doesn't realize is that, her Prince will come in a way of beyond her expectation.
Katrina, is reading all the job desks over and over again. She wants to make sure that she really understand what is her job, what she shall do daily, monthly, yearly. What is her scope of work, and what is not. This is important for her as a new employee in that big company. Not that she doesn't understand about her new job. Actually, she's one of the beautiful mind of this industry. She's smart and fun in the same time. She's kind, and can be called too nice, as others used to take advantage of her. She knows when other people take advantage of her, but she just couldn't resist it. What she can do is smiling, even though her heart is whining.
"This is not my work. Why on earth he ask me to do his job 'till this late. I should have read my book right now. Or that new DVD I bought yesterday."
That is how she usually complain about her job. By book she means novel, and by DVD she means a romantic comedy to please her that eventually true love will come to her.
This time she promise her self. No more helping others too much. No more work on others job desks. No more whining inside heart. I should change.
Well, this is not her first time she makes a promise. She did the same promise when accepting her previous job. And her previous job. And her previous job. And even, her friends college assignment.
"Quality Manager". Katrina makes a very soft sounds while she reading her laptop screen in front of her.
Yes, that is her new job. A quality manager. She has full responsible of maintaining the quality of network in order to maximize revenue from customers. She has many supervisors under her, which mostly spread geographically around the country. She has a very big responsibility right now. She feels afraid and tremble at the same time. But she just can handle it. Her needs of love is passing others emotion in her heart. She just needs it badly, and even get fired could no longer scare her.
As she reading in a very high concentration mode, the door is knocked and she's jumping frightened. A high pitch sounds come from her mouth and the man behind the door suddenly force to open the door and ask her in a nervous way
"Katrina, what happens?". The man asked.
"Oh Pak Haryo. Nothing, you're just surprised me." Katrina replied.
Pak Haryono Duarto is Katrina's new boss. A very father figure man in his late 40s. White hairs are here and everywhere on his head. Wrinkles start to fulfill his forehead, and starts appearing on his other face parts. He is very nice to Katrina. He knows Katrina is a smart woman and genuinely nice. He is also knows that sometimes Katrina is too nice. He just wanna make sure that she's alright.
"Working till late?" Pak Haryo asks to Katrina.
"Oh no, not at all. I'm just reading the documents here and there. I'll go home in short."
They both know Katrina is lying.
Pak Haryo then steps closer and says, "you should take the job easier. You don't need to force yourself too much. You need time for yourself. Go hangout, find the man of your life. Go gather with your friends. You need it. You're smart and kind, and insanely diligent. But this is Friday, and you really
What she doesn't realize is that, her Prince will come in a way of beyond her expectation.
Katrina, is reading all the job desks over and over again. She wants to make sure that she really understand what is her job, what she shall do daily, monthly, yearly. What is her scope of work, and what is not. This is important for her as a new employee in that big company. Not that she doesn't understand about her new job. Actually, she's one of the beautiful mind of this industry. She's smart and fun in the same time. She's kind, and can be called too nice, as others used to take advantage of her. She knows when other people take advantage of her, but she just couldn't resist it. What she can do is smiling, even though her heart is whining.
"This is not my work. Why on earth he ask me to do his job 'till this late. I should have read my book right now. Or that new DVD I bought yesterday."
That is how she usually complain about her job. By book she means novel, and by DVD she means a romantic comedy to please her that eventually true love will come to her.
This time she promise her self. No more helping others too much. No more work on others job desks. No more whining inside heart. I should change.
Well, this is not her first time she makes a promise. She did the same promise when accepting her previous job. And her previous job. And her previous job. And even, her friends college assignment.
"Quality Manager". Katrina makes a very soft sounds while she reading her laptop screen in front of her.
Yes, that is her new job. A quality manager. She has full responsible of maintaining the quality of network in order to maximize revenue from customers. She has many supervisors under her, which mostly spread geographically around the country. She has a very big responsibility right now. She feels afraid and tremble at the same time. But she just can handle it. Her needs of love is passing others emotion in her heart. She just needs it badly, and even get fired could no longer scare her.
As she reading in a very high concentration mode, the door is knocked and she's jumping frightened. A high pitch sounds come from her mouth and the man behind the door suddenly force to open the door and ask her in a nervous way
"Katrina, what happens?". The man asked.
"Oh Pak Haryo. Nothing, you're just surprised me." Katrina replied.
Pak Haryono Duarto is Katrina's new boss. A very father figure man in his late 40s. White hairs are here and everywhere on his head. Wrinkles start to fulfill his forehead, and starts appearing on his other face parts. He is very nice to Katrina. He knows Katrina is a smart woman and genuinely nice. He is also knows that sometimes Katrina is too nice. He just wanna make sure that she's alright.
"Working till late?" Pak Haryo asks to Katrina.
"Oh no, not at all. I'm just reading the documents here and there. I'll go home in short."
They both know Katrina is lying.
Pak Haryo then steps closer and says, "you should take the job easier. You don't need to force yourself too much. You need time for yourself. Go hangout, find the man of your life. Go gather with your friends. You need it. You're smart and kind, and insanely diligent. But this is Friday, and you really
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